26…A New Chapter

I cannot believe that I am officially 26! The night before my birthday, I sat on my couch alone in my apartment reflecting on my 25th year of life with God. As I did, tears began to fall because I realized that I am not the same person anymore. I have grown and learned so much, but most importantly, I have healed and discovered who I am.

What did the year 25 do for me?

It allowed me to take a pause. For the past seven years for as long as I could remember, I worked and went to school nonstop throughout the school years and summers. I did not know what it meant to take a break because I never knew how too. During the college breaks, I was still working. When I went out with friends, there were moments when I could not stop thinking about the next assignment due. I never knew what an actual break looked like. A month after my birthday, the shutdown in March 2020 [due to COVID-19] forced me to stop all that I was doing. It was nice working towards getting that degree and making that money but my mental health suffered as a result. I ignored my body and my over wellbeing for so many years. The pause allowed me to prioritize and see what was important versus what wasn’t. TAKE AWAY POINT: Don’t let that be you. Make sure you take breaks along the journey of pursuing your career path. Listen to your body. Try to be physically active in some way daily. Spend time with friends and loved ones. Spend time doing things that you love. Life is way too short and so many of us realized that during the pandemic.

It allowed me to do some soul searching. I realized that I needed someone to talk too because I went so many years without properly healing. I remember researching therapists days after my birthday, but then I stopped for two reasons: 1)I knew that it wasn’t going to be easy finding a Christian therapist who shared the same values, morals, and beliefs as me; and 2)I am a psychologist and I counsel. The very first session always starts with, “Well, what do you hope to gain throughout this process?” My answer, ‘All I want to do is heal!” I know what to expect when it comes to therapy. I didn’t want to have to sit through and rehearse my entire life to someone. The only person that I knew who could heal me was God. Why? Because He was the only one who was with me through every storm and trial. He saw what I did and what that person did. He created my heart so I knew that He was the only one that could put the pieces back together. I had so much “guck” in me that needed to come out. I was tired of feeling sorry for myself. I was tired of walking around with a rejected, distorted mindset. I was tired of being so negative when I was by myself and when I was around other people. It was draining because it took the fun out of life. So I used 25 as a time to work on me and learn about God’s love. He loves us so much, and we walk around so broken. There is nothing that we could ever do to separate us from His love (Romans 8:31-39). That’s when I realized, “How can I give another man my heart if I haven’t first given it to God?” Little by little, I began to give my Heavenly Father something so precious knowing that He wouldn’t do anything to break it. And little by little, He began to heal me and show me His truth which freed me. I allowed God to show me the root of my issues. And boy did He! I began to see how things from a child affected the hardness in my heart as a woman today. God showed me where I went wrong in certain situations. Through this heart healing journey, I allowed Him to break those walls down around my heart. He created that space for me to heal my emotional wounds. TAKE AWAY POINT: Heal. Heal. Heal. There is no reason why the next generation needs to suffer because you did not take the time to heal.

I learned to become fully dependent on God. This was the very first year that I was on my own miles away from my friends and family. I had no one to help me. Look out for me. Physically comfort me. 25 was that year when I started turning to God for help. I couldn’t do it on my own. It was so tough in the beginning. I cried every night. However, God never left my side. In moments of weakness, He became my strength. TAKE AWAY POINT: You cannot and will not be successful in this life without the help of God. He wants to help you but He will not barge into your space. God is a gentleman. He is standing at your door waiting for you to invite Him in so do so. He wants to help you in every area of your life.

Lastly, the year 25 has taught me how to truly embrace my season of singleness. I found peace in who I am and the season that I am in. There is absolutely, positively nothing wrong with being single. There is nothing more beautiful and attractive than a woman who knows her worth. I have learned what I will and will not tolerate from people. I have learned how to love on me and take care of me with no distractions. I had the quietness to listen to my body, my heart, and my emotions, and honor it by not neglecting it. TAKE AWAY POINT: If you are single, rejoice! Use this season to not wait on a spouse but to discover new things and work on you! How can you allow someone else to love on you if you haven’t loved on you first?!

My takeaway point? Let each year count. Before you turn a new chapter, take a moment to reflect. Journal. Record a video. Do something to document your journey so that you can look back on your next birthday and see just how much you have grown!

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