How To Maintain A Life Of Purity

It is not that simple to walk a life of purity. If anybody told you that being a virgin or practicing celibacy is easy, well, good for them. However, to those who are made of flesh and have fleshly desires and cravings, well, let me be the first to tell you that that is natural and also very normal. God knew exactly what He was doing when He created you and I. What God wants from us is not to ignore our desires and cravings or satisfy them with instant gratification. God wants us to submit our flesh to Him daily. Luke 9:23 states, “Then he [Jesus] said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” We deny our flesh by practicing self-control. Maintaining a life of purity requires self-control and you do so by the following:

1. HAVING BOUNDARIES. I’ve been told so many times that I have too many “rules” when it comes to dating, however, I do not see it as rules. It is called me maintaining my boundaries because if I don’t, how do I expect someone else too? What are your boundaries? Are you comfortable with going out with that person that you are sexually attracted too? Are you comfortable with hanging out late hours? Can you handle “just kissing”? Is him touching you a huge turn on? Is she touching you a huge turn on? Is even a hug too much for you? If you are not comfortable, let him know. Let her know. If you know something is going to cause you to compromise your purity, you need to say something early on. You have to protect you. You have to be able to communicate your boundaries to others and follow through with the consequences even if it means walking away.
2. BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF. You know that you are sexually attracted to that person. You know that kissing causes you to want more. You know that watching or reading a sex scene somewhere will turn you on. You know that when you hang out with that person, it always turns into a sexual conversation someway somehow. You know you become horny as the evening starts to set in. You know that you want to have sex with that particular person and so you continue talking to that person even though you know it is dangerous too. You know that you have played with fire in the past resulting in you getting burned so why are you playing with fire again? I can promise you that if you start to become honest with yourself and learn your weaknesses, it will save you from making a lot of purity mistakes.
3. STOP CARING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK AND FEEL ABOUT YOUR DECISION. If you live by what people think about you, you will die by that mentality also. If you feel like you truly cannot hang out with that person because all you are thinking about is having sex with them, then don’t do it. You’ve probably told your friend this and your friend is almost pressuring you just to go out and have a good time. Your friend means well but they are not walking that battle you are where you are fighting your flesh daily. People are going to say all kinds of things about your walk of purity. I know because I’ve heard it all. I’ve been called boring, a prude, conservative, etc. At first, it made me feel so horrible about my walk but I’ve gotten to a point in my life where I stopped caring and have learned to embrace this walk. I have to do what’s right for me. If I fall, I’m the one that has to live with the consequences, not them. I’m the one that has to deal with the enemy taunting me, not them. I’m the one that has to repent, not them. So do what you feel is right for you, not for a friend or family member.
4. HAVING AN ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER. Your accountability partner should be someone of the same sex. Why? Because they would better be able to understand your desires and cravings and show you a healthy way to handle your flesh when it becomes weak. Males and females are biologically different. A male cannot help me when I am turned on. Having an accountability partner who is older is also beneficial because of the wisdom he/she will carry. They’ve been through it all so they can give you insight on why you should or should not do something when maintaining a life of purity. You also want an accountability partner that you can be honest, open, vulnerable, and transparent with, and someone that can cover you in prayer especially in those moments when you don’t want to take their advice.
5. BEING HONEST WITH GOD. Have real conversations with Him. I have told God on countless occasions that I think about sex alot because I want to have it to release all of the sexual frustration and that I am struggling. I let Him know what’s up. God made you so why not go back to the creator and let Him know we have a problem. Let Him know how hard the waiting is. Let Him in. Be raw and explicit with God. God will not judge you for having those feelings. He knows. He walked this earth. Remember?
6. HAVING A WHY. Why are you walking a life of purity? Is it because someone told you too? Is it because you want to honor God? Is it because it is a personal choice? My why is that I think it is so beautiful being untouched and inexperienced. How beautiful is it that you can walk into your marriage and be able to give your spouse something you gave no one else? In addition, you wouldn’t have anything to compare your experience to with your spouse which will make the intimacy that much more beautiful. Being inexperienced gives you the opportunity to try many things safely within the boundaries of marriage knowing that God is beyond pleased that you waited.

Do you know of any other ways to maintain a life of purity? Let me know in the comments below!

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