Don’t Stop Being You!
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
Ezekiel 36:26
Don’t ever stop being you because of what someone said or did to you. All too often, when we are taken advantage of, taken for granted, abused, neglected, violated or whatever it may be, our first response is to shut down. What comes out of that response is a hardened and numbed heart. A heart that does not allow people in. A heart that does not forgive. A heart that creates dysfunction in our thoughts and actions. You do not have to live like that.
I have been through a lot this year where I was personally taken advantage of on many occasions. What I am now asking God daily is to continue to create in me a softened heart. I am a kind, gentle, sweet, loving, and caring person. I encourage and uplift people. When someone is need of a listening ear, I am ready to be that person with no hesitations. I freely give asking nothing in return but I have always had the expectation that although I do not ask for anything in return when I give, I would think that people would be ready to give and be there for me in my time of need. A respected person once told me that if they were quite honest with me, I position myself in a way that allows people to take advantage of me unfortunately. I always readily make myself available to people but most importantly, I do not set boundaries. I allow people to take from me. I allow people to use me to get what they need done. I allow people to manipulate me for their own benefit. Does this seem to be you? Maybe you have always been a people pleaser all of your life like myself and because of that, it positioned you to get hurt without you even realizing it.
Unfortunately, we cannot control the actions of others but we can definitely control our reactions moving forward. You do not have to develop a hardened heart because of what someone did to you. Continue being who you are. Be that kind, gentle, sweet, loving, and caring person. As you move forward, and continue to extend grace to yourself where you heal and forgive yourself, ask God for wisdom so that you do not move too quickly in relationships where you can end up being taken advantage of. Ask God to help you set boundaries. Ask God what is this person’s purpose and intentions for your life. People may not like you when you start to do this because as you pray this and continuously be before God, your actions will begin to change, and that is okay. You are not changing for them. You are changing for you.
A hardened heart causes you to miss out on opportunities and blessings. It causes you an inability to form, develop, and keep healthy relationships. It causes you to make the mistake of allowing the next person to pay for what the last person did to you. It’s not worth it. Stay true to who you are. Invite God in. Let Him show you. You are way too fabulous, classy, and full of integrity to change who you are for the worst because of someone else. Do not give them that power.
Use every experience as a learning moment. God knew that what happened to you was going to happen. I believe that God did not allow it to happen for any kind of reason. I believe that He allowed it to happen to develop you and I. To develop our character. To teach us about ourselves. To show us our strengths but also to show us areas that we need to work on. As we continue to learn and grow on our end, I know that God will one day bring people into our lives who would value, appreciate, and respect us.
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