Still Single?
I am officially 27 years old [as of 5 days ago] and yes, I am still very much single.
- Do I like being single?
I do. It took me years to get to this place of peace in my singleness, and I am glad God did not give it to my pleas. I am glad that He worked hard on me in those dark hours of longing because I am very much content in my singleness at 27 years old. There are so many things that I want to do and accomplish in my single season, and I gave that list to God December 2021.
Growing up, I always thought that I needed to be married first before I could do this or buy that, and that, my friend, is farthest from the truth. God can open up the door for you to buy a house, get your dream car, travel, start something, go back to school, etc. with or without a partner. Yes, it would be nice to have a partner to share life’s excitement with, however, that should not stop you from living your best life as a single, whole person.
- What would I tell others who are single?
Please make the most of this season. For some, it is only a season, and for others, it is a lifetime. Either way, do not waste away this season wishing you had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. If it hasn’t happened for you, then there is a reason. It has nothing to do with God forgetting about you. Many times, He withholds to develop, protect, strengthen, and heal. Trust me when I say that God is not blind to your tears nor deaf to your cries. He hears and sees it all. He wants you to have a full life regardless of your relationship status.
One of the reasons why you may be feeling sad about being single is because you do not understand why you are single especially if they say that looks have nothing to do with it. I have been there so I can tell you firsthand that although God’s ways are not our ways nor are His thoughts our thoughts, asking Him why you are single and being patient enough to wait for the answer is the best thing that you can do.
- What would I have told my past self during my late teenage, young adult years about singleness?
It is more than 100% okay to have that desire of wanting someone, however do not let it consume you. Nobody wants to be single during their elementary (sadly), junior, high school, or college years, and that is understandable. What would have been a good idea during those young years was getting involved in an extracurricular activity. When you have too much time on your hands, you spend that time looking at what everyone else and what you don’t have. When you spend your extra time doing something for you, it makes your life more fulfilling.
Just because you never had a boyfriend or had the guy that you liked like you back does not mean that there is something wrong with you. It does not mean that you are ugly or unworthy. Society makes it seem that way however not in God’s eyes. He sees you as someone special and He wants you untouched because He wants to use you to touch the lives of millions. You don’t see it now but one day you will. You have a special anointing over your life. You have a calling and because of that, you cannot go where everyone gets to go or do what everyone else gets to do. God couldn’t have revealed that to you at that moment because it would have made you walk out of what He has called you to do. You weren’t spiritually mature as of yet to handle what God was about to bring your way. The suffering that you are feeling now is only temporary. It will pass. It does hurt but I want you to keep your head up.
It would have been nice if you got into the Word more at that age because whenever sadness came, it would have been good to remind yourself of what God is saying to you about singleness and how God sees you. Watch, you are going to look back 5 years from now and be so glad that God kept you single. (And am I? YES!!!!!!!)
- Do you see yourself getting married anytime soon?
I go back and forth with this. Because God has yet to open the door of dating and relationships for me, and I am getting older, at times, I feel like it may not happen for me. Not because I do not want it to or because I do not believe that it can happen for me but because I see how blessed I am being single and how God is using me to encourage those like you. I honestly rather be single if it means being used by God to fulfill His purpose than to be married because of my needs. Marriage is hard work, just as singleness is too in a way, and it is a lifelong commitment. Marriage is not something to be taken lightly so if God has marriage in store for me, then I would have to allow Him to lead me to that. I won’t make the move on my own because of how content I am in being single. There are times when I do wish I had someone but my peace in singleness outweighs it. I enjoy giving God all of me. I find rest in that. Because I have learned how to depend on Him greatly in all kinds of moments, I am okay single. He carried me this far so I know that He will continue to carry me.
Not having any experience has become sort of a blessing for me because the craving is different. Because I never dated or been in a relationship, when those desires come, it is easy for me to get over it, with the help of God of course. I am not missing anything. However, for those who had the experience, it is completely different because you already know what it felt like to date and/or to be in a relationship.
If God created me to live a life of singleness, then I know that I will always be okay. He has proven to me over and over again that He’s got me.
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