Take It Off

I remember sitting in bed with tears in my eyes one night talking to God because I felt so lost and frustrated when it came to my job. I wasn’t happy with what I was doing as a career. My third year has been so difficult for me. When I first started my career as a school psychologist back in August 2019, I was so happy. I loved my job and couldn’t anybody tell me otherwise! I enjoyed what I was doing. I loved that I didn’t have a supervisor who micromanaged me but allowed me to move to the beat of my own drums. I was at schools with people that enjoyed having me around and would sing nothing but praises about me. I was a positive light to many. My first year was amazing. However, it wasn’t until coming down to the end of my second year on the job where my attitude towards my job drastically shifted. I didn’t realize the shift then because I was so caught up but coming out of it, I was able to figure out the “why”. And the “why” is what I want to share with you in hopes of helping you.

The reason why you, just like me, may have been feeling so lost, tired, frustrated, overwhelmed, stressed, annoyed, anxious, or even depressed with certain areas of your life that you were once on fire for [in my case, my job] is because you are continuously putting on, what I like to call, “the heavy garment of other people.” There are people around you who you love dearly, however, they complain and/or are always negative at any chance they get. They never have one good thing to say. If it is not one thing, it is another. They are not happy with their own current state and without realizing it, their negativity becomes your portion. You begin to complain about your own journey, and just like that, you end up unhappy like them. 

During my third year on the job, I was over it. I was ready to quit because I felt like everything was going wrong. I was complaining about my own journey constantly. I was hanging around people who were also complaining. You know how they say, “Misery likes company?” Well, this statement held true. I began finding fault in every little thing, getting frustrated easily, snapping at my coworkers, and even talking about people behind their backs. That is not who I am at all but that is who I became because of what I allowed myself to put on. I became this person because I took on what others were dealing with, sitting in it, entertaining it, rather than speaking up or walking away. The garment may have fit them perfectly but not me because I did not like who I was becoming. 

At the end of my third year, I came to the realization that instead of asking God to take me out of the job, I asked Him to strip me of the heavy garment that I have allowed myself to put on and keep on this past year. I wanted my happiness and joy back. I wanted my passion back. I wanted to love what I do but in order to do so, I needed a wardrobe change. 

If you are unhappy with certain areas of your life, rather than walk away from the situation, which leads to no resolution, how about asking God to search you to see where the problem lies because if I am completely honest, the problem could be you. People try to find happiness by going from one thing to the next. For example, If they are not happy in one school, they request to be transferred to another school in hopes that it would work out better for them. This is so dangerous because they do not realize that they are still walking around with that heavy garment going from school to school. Rather than deal with the root of the issue, and work on doing a wardrobe change, they continue on with the heavy garment… just in a new environment. They do not realize that in the new environment, happiness will only be temporary because sooner rather than later, they will begin to hook up with the complainers, nitpickers, and so forth. Without dealing with a “wardrobe change”, you will always end up in feeling the same way even if circumstances are different.

This also applies to relationships. If someone is going from relationship to relationship, that says more about the garment they are wearing than the person they are dating. The garment has on past hurt, childhood trauma, unresolved issues, unforgiveness, insecurities, and brokenness. If you are someone that goes from one thing to the next, stop. You will never find happiness by doing so. You will find true happiness by changing your wardrobe. 

In this season of changing “clothing”, I have been asking God to cover me. Why? Because I am exposed and vulnerable, which gives the enemy room to bring even more people around me who are negative which can end up causing me to relapse and put back on that heavy garment piece by piece. I don’t want that. If people have to come into my life, they have to be people who find joy in their line of work. People who are grateful for the position that they have. People who are truly happy in what they do. As you change, and heal along the process, ask God to cover you. You deserve to be the best version of yourself no matter where you are and what you do. 

Where God places you is by no accident. Stay the course and remain faithful in doing so. You don’t see it now but one day you will. 

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