You Do NOT Need To Date Around

Yup, you read the title correctly. You do not need to date around in order to find the one. Let me break it down for you.

Society tells us that you need to date around. You need to put yourself out there in order for you to find the one or for the one to find you. Dating around will help you figure out what you want in a mate versus what you don’t want. It will make for a successful, long lasting relationship. You will learn more about yourself as well as the opposite sex. You will learn what it takes to keep or break a relationship. While all of this may be true, I believe that the opposite is true for God. 

God wants us to focus on our purpose. He wants us to continue living our life. He wants us to enjoy our lives not worrying about trying to find a mate. Our footsteps are ordered by Him according to Psalm 37:23. He knows our end from our beginning according to Isaiah 46:10. He knows the plans for our lives according to Jeremiah 29:11. Therefore, God does not need any help when it comes to bringing people together. Think about your coworkers and classmates that became lifelong friends. Think about the places you go to and the wonderful people you have met. It was by no accident or by chance. You were doing your thing and along the way, God brought those people into your life. You weren’t actively searching for friends. You weren’t actively searching to be found by someone. You were focused on the goals in front of you. The same is applicable to meeting the one. 

For me, I am not actively searching for a spouse and I will not. Yes, there are moments where I desire a companion but I won’t allow that loneliness to be the deciding factor. I personally do not want to date around. I am someone that gets emotionally invested quickly and because this can be a weakness in the dating scene, I rather not. I do not want to use dating apps. I do not want to go to certain places (e.g. clubs, bars) where other singles go to meet potentials. I rather wait on God to orchestrate our footsteps where we meet. That is something I have told God and I know that He will honor that in due season. 

My focus in life right now is enjoying my singleness to the fullest. That means to continue having a social life, going out after work and on weekends whenever I can. That means participating in godly community via small groups at church and meeting new people. That means being a participant at my dance school weekly. That means showing up for my job daily and being the best psychologist, colleague, and friend to those I work with. That means spending time with God, learning who He is, what He says about me, and the blessings that He has in store for my life. That means spending time with my family daily whether that is in person or via phone. That means traveling for business and taking a vacation when I can. That means pouring in SingleChronicles7 as much as I can. I am going to continue doing me and I leave it to God to do the rest.

God loves being in charge even with the smallest areas of your life so when He sees that you want Him to take charge in this particular area of your life, I already know that He is going to blow your mind! I have full confidence in that.

Let your heart be so hidden in God that the person God has for you will have to search Him in order to find you. Don’t believe the lie that you have to test drive the car before purchasing. In other words, you need to have experience in the dating/relationship world before you get married. I don’t know about you but I always say that I do not want the guys not assigned to my destiny touching me or even knowing parts of me that I want to give to my husband. I want my husband to have all of me therefore I am “on reserve”. I have no experience dating or being in a serious relationship, and there were times when I have worried about that. Would my inexperienceness be unattractive? Is my inexperienceness a set up for failure? Would I get overlooked for my inexperienceness? Now? I give it all to God. I know that God will allow my husband to have a heart of patience as we learn and grow together. To that one, my inexperienceness will even be seen as beautiful. 

I can also say that I was never taught how to live a single life. I had to ask God’s help in doing so, and He has been blowing my mind because of how much joy I am experiencing in this season. This can also be applicable to marriage and parenthood. All you have to do is ask and you shall receive (Matthew 7:7). So when courtship and marriage come [and one day parenthood], I don’t need prior experience for it to be healthy, long-lasting, and successful. All I need is the guidance and grace of God. 

So in summary, you do not need to date around. If you want to, there is no harm in doing so. Just make sure you invite God into it, and lean on the wisdom and discernment of the Holy Spirit. Don’t rely on flesh but rely on Spirit. However, if you are like me and you rather wait on God’s timing, then it is okay to have the desire of not wanting to date around. You do not need to go out of your way to make things happen. Continue living and along the way, God will allow the right one to step in when you least expect it. 

Leave this area of your life in God’s hand and watch how you will one day see His hand in it!

*If you haven’t already, make sure you subscribe by joining the club and follow me on Facebook Page, Facebook Group, Instagram, Pinterest, TikTok, and YouTube @singlechronicles7 to stay motivated and inspired* XOXO Ali