Why Settle?

These past few months have taught me so many things as I continue to navigate this season of singleness with God, and I want to share it with you. 

Forgiveness

One of the things that I have learned has been to be quick to forgive yourself just as God has the moment you ask Him. This scripture, “As far as the East is from the West, so far has he removed our transgressions from us (Psalm 103:12),” brings so much healing to me. God forgives us immediately and remembers our sin no more (Hebrews 8:12). 

The moment we mess up, our immediate response is to hide and run away from God. Look at Adam back in Genesis. God told him not to eat the fruit of the tree (Genesis 2:17). God warned him as God always does with His children. He shows us signs. Gives us dreams and visions. Speaks to us through other people. Yet, despite all of the warnings, many times, we still engage in the very thing God wanted us to steer clear from. No matter what you did, my advice is to run to God. Expose your wrongdoing. When Adam sinned against God, he immediately hid (Genesis 3:8). And yet, God still pursued him (Genesis 3:9). He didn’t leave Adam to fend for himself. He went after him.

That’s the kind of God we serve and we always have to remember that. By exposing your mess up before God, it is then covered by Him through His forgiveness. And why is this important? Because the enemy will remind you of what you did. Over and over again. And the only way to stop these attacks from overpowering you is by reminding the devil that God already took care of it. 

There is no use in beating myself up over my mess ups. It doesn’t do any good. If anything, it gives so much ammunition to the enemy and the only way to truly defeat the enemy is to resist him by continuously running back to God (James 4:7- “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”) Learn to extend grace to yourself. Whether you were consciously aware of what you did or not in that very moment, the deed was done. There is absolutely nothing you can do to unwind time. Accept that it happened. Accept the fact that God has forgiven you and move on with your life in freedom.

Communication

I’ve also learned that communication is key. Don’t allow someone to string you along and don’t ever string someone along for your sake. If this isn’t it for you, let them know. If you lost interest and are completely checked out, let them know. Assumptions will always lead to heartbreak. If something doesn’t sit right with you, express it. Go with your intuition. That gut feeling. It takes a mature person to set boundaries, clearly communicate their wants and needs, hold themselves accountable, and follow through. 

Watch and Listen

I’ve learned to be watchful and listen. Believe people the first time around. When people withhold information, that’s a red flag. 

Inviting God on the Journey

I’ve also learned the importance of inviting God in on the journey. When God is a part of your dating and relationship phase, He will show you things without the person even having to open up their mouth. Many times, people will tell you what they want you to hear and feed you lies to make themselves look good. The enemy will make every undesirable and unattractive thing look sweet and inviting. Staying connected to God will activate your discernment like never before. 

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