Dating God’s Way

*This post is for those who are serious about dating God’s way.*

God never said no to dating. He never said no to being in a relationship. What I believe God wants is for you to be intentional. We have to be a generation that stops playing games with people’s hearts. If you are not ready for commitment, then you have no business dating or being in a relationship. If you are ready for the commitment, then the next question you need to ask yourself is, ‘What is the purpose of me dating and being in a relationship?” If you are looking for validation, approval, and/or acceptance, then, you are not ready. If you are looking to change your relationship status from single to taken, then you are not ready. If you’re doing it because everybody else is doing it, then you are not ready. If you are dating for recreational purposes (meaning that you are not looking for anything serious, not ready to settle down anytime soon, etc.), make that very explicit on day one. Your intentions and your purpose have to be crystal clear because you will end up getting hurt or hurting the other person.

I believe that God wants you to walk into the experience of dating and being in a relationship whole. What does wholeness mean? It means having a strong foundation in Christ. You know who you are and whose you are. You stick to your standards. You refuse to settle. You see yourself the way God sees you, refusing to see yourself any other way. You walk with confidence and not cockiness. You are willing to invite God on the journey with you and are open to His guidance.

One of the reasons why the dating experience fails and/or you end up hurt in a relationship is because of this: In the beginning, boundaries are set. You’re staying close to God. However, as the relationship with the guy or girl progresses, you start to loose focus and sight of God. Boundaries are crossed. The things that you have had set out to accomplish and do have all become a blur. Your standards and morals go out the window. God becomes secondary to the guy or girl. He has been in the process of writing your love story but you took the pen out of His hands. That is why God needs you to have a strong foundation in Him. He is not saying wait to punish you. If God is telling you to wait, it’s to develop you so that when this season comes, you will not be moved. You will be able to discern quickly if that guy or that girl is someone after God’s own heart, and is also very intentional like you.

God does not want you to approach this dating experience with a list. “She has to be this.” “He has to be that.” Having a list puts a limitless, endless God in a 4×4 box. God wants you to be open to what He has in store for you. I have seen and have spoken to a few married couples who have been married for an extensive amount of years and alot of them say that who God had for them was nothing like they’ve imagined [in a good way]. God gave them what they needed. Not want they wanted in some aspect. Therefore, God knows what you want, but you are better off with someone who will meet your needs. When God is in it and both parties have Christ at the center of their individual lives, the relationship will be able to withstand any storm. Rip your list up and let the author of love finish writing your love story. I believe that He will blow your mind!

Lastly, when you begin to date, take mental notes. Does this person’s values line up with yours? Is this person’s faith strong and belief system rooted on the foundation of Christ or is this person still a “work in progress”? Is this person pulling you away from God or leading you towards Him? Is this person willing to protect your purity by all means necessary such as steering clear of asking you any sexual questions or not wanting to be alone with you? Dating becomes dangerous when you do not have a sense of who and whose you are. When you understand who you are, what you will and will not tolerate, and know how to guard you heart in Christ, you will get alot of “nos” but those “nos” will lead you to the one “yes”.

Do you have any other tips on how to date God’s way? Comment below!

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