Enjoy Your Singleness

Society, family, friends, and even strangers make singleness sound like such a horrible curse and state to be in. Nobody seems to care about the fact that you just graduated, are in your career, moved to a new state, found a brand new apartment/home, purchased/leased your very first car, found some extracurricular activities to get involved in, traveled, wrote your own book, are healthy, connected with the right people to help you with your craft, or started college, your own business, social media page, ministry, blog, podcast or YouTube channel. For some reason, people seem to care more about your relationship status than the things that you have going for you. However, don’t allow someone’s small mindedness to affect how you enjoy your singleness. Shame on them but also shame on you for not just allowing that energy into your spirit but sitting in it.

I want to encourage you today to enjoy your singleness. The fruitfulness of your singleness is dependent on how you choose to live it. You can choose to live your singleness sadden, focusing on what you don’t have or you can choose to live it with contentment, focusing on what you do have and all that you have going for you. To be honest, I spent a lot of my early 20s miserable because I continuously wished that I was in a relationship. I wanted what my classmates in college had, what my sisters had, what my coworkers had, what my friends had. Nothing made me truly happy. It didn’t matter that I was pursuing my Masters degree, that I leased my very first car, that I had a social life, that I was making my own money, etc. Those things did not matter. Having a boyfriend did. I believed that once it happened for me, then I would be happy. Then I would fit in. Then my life would truly begin. But can I tell you that that notion is so dangerous? God does not want us to wait for certain things to happen for us to truly live. He wants us to live now. To possess now. To own now. He’s waiting on you to enjoy where you are in this season of your life so that He can pour out His blessings upon you.

Do I still desire to be in a relationship? Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. But that is not where my focus is on in this season of my life. To be honest, I do not care to be married right now. Maybe in 1-2 years. Maybe when I hit my 30s then my mindset would change, but right now, my focus is on walking in my purpose. My focus is on doing for me. My focus is on my own happiness. What do I want to see happen in my life? I’ve prayed for a social life and for an open door so that I can get involved in an extracurricular activity when I moved to a new state and as of today, my social life is booming and I am starting adult dance classes, specifically Afro-Caribbean and Hip-Hop classes. I want to also get involved in Tap classes as well as Contemporary. In addition, my LLC brand is expanding, I am living in a brand new place, I have a vehicle of my choice, I am finishing up my 3rd year in my career as a school psychologist, and I’ve been getting back into doing my own acrylic nails like a professional. The list keeps going. There is still so much that I want God to make happen in my life and I am believing for it. Your list may not look like mine and that is okay. What I do know is that you have things going for you. You just have to stop for a moment and make a note of all of the positives that you have going for you even if it is small or even if it’s just to be alive! Don’t be discouraged by what you don’t have. Get encouraged by what you do.

I didn’t realize that where my focus was mentally determined how I would live my life physically. I wish that if I knew what I just shared with you earlier in my life, I would not have wasted those years in mourning rather than in celebration. I cannot go back and change my past but I can definitely change the outcome of my future by enjoying my singleness now. I pray the same for you!

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