How To Heal From Insecurities

I remember getting prayed over in March of 2019 by the associate pastor of my church during altar call. When he got to me, with my head bowed eyes closed, he touched my forehead and began to pray. Tears filled my eyes because he prayed what I needed to hear to continue on this journey. He gave me the scripture, “They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength…” He stated that I need to wait and to trust God. He told me to look at him but I couldn’t because I felt so ashamed and so unworthy. When I finally looked at him through the tears, he told me to wait again. He walked away to pray for the next person. A few minutes later, I felt a presence in front of me. I looked up and it was him again. He came back to me and with tears in his eyes, he stated, “If only you knew just how much God really loved you.” That broke me.

When I looked at him, I saw how sad he looked and I knew that that was a reflection of God. It was as if I saw God. God has been so sad and so heartbroken that I never believed who He says that I am and that I don’t trust Him enough to wait patiently. I wanted a boyfriend desperately. I wanted to date. It wasn’t fair that others got too and I couldn’t. I was tired. Tired of being single and by myself. I didn’t feel good about who I was. All I felt was ugliness when I looked in the mirror.

You see for me, I grew up with parents who always told me how beautiful I was. But for some reason, i could never receive it. Even when people complimented me, I would say thank you but never allowed the words to soak in. I would just brush it off. I even told God that I didn’t love who I was. That I didn’t find myself attractive. My beauty was defined by guys, by society. Guys never pursued me all throughout schooling so I believed that it had something to do with the way I looked.

It took an encounter with God for me to begin accepting His truth. I told God, “If you love me so much, then show me because I don’t love me.” And little by little, God began to show me. No so much in the words of other people. But honestly by spending time with Him. I have to be honest and say that I am not a huge Bible reader. And God knows that. I explicitly told Him that. What I love about God is that He didn’t get mad for me saying that. Instead, He began to show me His Word in other ways. Through lyrics in a song. By listening to a sermon. By reading godly books on self love. By watching Biblical movies about the characters in the Bible. And as I began to understand Him in that way, then I began to open up the Bible because I wanted more. and every time I would open the Bible, I would ask Him for understanding and He would give it to me.

Keys to healing from insecurities:

1. Finding your identity because once you know who you belong to, you won’t question yourself. When you begin to realize that you belong to God and He created you just the way you are, you will slowly start to accept that because He has already.
2. Total acceptance of yourself, flaws and all. The way God made is by no accident. Whether God made you with darker skin, lighter skin, big nose, small nose, big lips, thin lips, more kinkier texture hair, loose curls, etc. Whatever you do not like about yourself is the very thing(s) God loves about you. He needs you to realize that. If you don’t have it, it’s because you do not need it. He created you exactly how He imagined it even before you were form.
3. Knowing who God is. Learning His truth. I promise you that once you start to grasp a hold of His truth, you will forever be set free from the bondage and chains of insecurities. What you have been doing is believing all of the lies of the enemy. God’s truth tells you that whatever the enemy says that you’re not, God says that you are. And whatever the enemy says that you are, God says that you’re not.

I want to leave you with this: Some things are a process and not instantaneous. Nonetheless you have to fight. Those things you fight hardest against I’m sure God has a very special plan! Don’t lose sight of the prize! “Nobody told me that the road would be easy but, I don’t believe He brought me this far to leave me”. You’re gonna get there!!!! Line upon line… here a little there a little. You are NOT the same person a year ago! Keep your eyes lifted unto the hills from where your help comes from!!! Keep quoting scriptures. Keep telling the devil he’s a liar through the Word. Keep the things God has told you documented and keep reading them to yourself and proclaiming it! 

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