I NOW Desire a Husband
Can we agree that it is by no accident when God places people in our lives? I can provide you countless times when each person that I have come into contact with over the last years has served a great purpose in my life whether the experience was painful [in which I’ve learned from] or one that was filled with joy. This season of my life is no different. I was speaking to a friend while at work a few days ago and through conversation, he shared with me how he met his soon to be wife. He stated that he was not actively looking but he was open to the idea of talking to someone. He was focused on healing and becoming whole. He stated that when his family introduced him to a woman that at first he was hesitant about when they first told him about her weeks prior, he stated that everything was natural. From the conversations on the phone to the in person hang outs, nothing was forced. There was such peace. He stated that before he met her, he would talk to God about what he wanted in a wife. Someone who is a believer, someone who shares similar goals and visions, etc. He had a list and he was specific. He stated that he didn’t go into the superficial (e.g. what her body must look like, what her nationality must be). He wanted realistic things and he made sure God was full aware. He was articulate. He was verbal. He made his needs and requests known to God. He stated that it is not good for man to be alone and that is Biblical (Genesis 2:18). As my friend worked on developing a friendship with her, he recalled how in awe he was. Not of her but of God because the things that He brought before God in terms of what he desires in a future wife became his reality. All of the things that he wants to accomplish in life aligns with what she wants to accomplish in life. In summary, he stated, “Ali, don’t be afraid to ask God for what you desire. Give God the desires of your heart. Write out a list. Present it to Him. And watch how God works.”
That conversation led me to write this blog post. Through that conversation, I realized that I have been walking in fear. A dear friend of mines told me on more than one occasion, “Pray for your husband Ali. Believe that he will come. I remembered praying for a husband and within a year, God answered. Now, I’m not saying that it will happen within a year for you. I can’t tell you that. It may or it may not. What I can tell you is that I kept my faith. I believed that God would answer. You have too as well Ali.” For years, I wished away a husband. I would tell God every now and then that I would want to be married but then in the same breath, tell God to keep me single because of the things I wanted to accomplish for myself by myself. I also didn’t believe that it could happen for me because I have never been in a relationship and have only been on 1 date in my entire life (this past February). I inwardly felt like I wasn’t ready. I needed to have this in place and that in place before it happened. I “ripped up my list” because that’s what many preachers tell us to do right? I was never specific with God because I wantd to protect myself just in case it didn’t happen. I didn’t want to get my hopes up high just in case it didn’t work out. If I am honest, during my younger years, I felt like God failed me in this area and I don’t believe I ever recovered from it. I haven’t fully surrendered this area of my life to God because of that small ounce of doubt. [In truth, He never failed me. He protected me because He wanted to heal me, free me from the things I’ve struggled with, and restore my self-image and identity in Him].
If I am also honest, I do believe that my thoughts and my words are one of the main reasons why it hasn’t happened yet. It could be why there is delayment. Scripture tells us that the power of life and death is in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) and I have been doing nothing but speaking death. I don’t believe I was worthy enough to be someone’s wife. I would tell people jokingly, but seriously, that I haven’t met many good guys. People would tell me that there are not many guys where I live and that I won’t find someone here, and rather than rebuke that lie, I would participate and agree.
I desire a husband. I do. I know that God will grant me the desires of my heart as I continue seeking Him and putting Him first (Psalm 37:4). I am now learning that God would never provide me with someone who would pull me away from my purpose. He would provide me with someone who would continue pushing me towards my purpose. Someone whose visions, dreams, and goals, somewhat aligns with mine and vice versa. Someone who would add value to my life, not take away. Someone who is a believer and has their own personal relationship with Him. It can happen for me if I change my mindset and fully surrender. I am also learning to give every doubt, fear, and unbelief to Him. Just because I want to accomplish so much in this lifetime does not mean that God wants me to do it alone. I thought that if it happened for me, I would get distracted and not accomplish everything that I wanted to but I am wrong in that thinking. I can and will be able to, and God can provide a helpmate just like Eve was to Adam (Genesis 2:18) that would be more than willing to walk this journey with me.
Whatever you do, don’t stop believing for a spouse. Don’t stop believing for the things you desire. Even if you don’t see a way, that is okay. God will direct your footsteps (Psalm 37:23-24) and He will make every impossible thing possible (Matthew 19:26). You don’t have to go out of your way to make things happen. As you continue walking, enjoying life and accomplishing your goals, God will bring your future spouse to you when you least expect it along the way. Be mindful of the words you speak and the thoughts running through your mind as that can have a huge impact on your future. Don’t allow the lack to be the reason why you cannot believe it won’t happen for you. If God did it for someone else, He can surely do it for you. Let your faith increase so that fear can decrease. God wants nothing more than to bless His children and see them win in life.
“If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”
Matthew 21:22
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