Truths To Relationship Lies Part III
Lie: Waiting it out does not work.
Truth: I believe that waiting it out does work if you are doing it for the right reason. Rather than sit around and wait for Mr./Mrs. “Right” to come along, God wants you to do and become in the midst of the wait. The waiting period should focus less on a future partner and more on self. This is the time to focus and accomplish your dreams with no distractions. This is the time to start something or finish something. You should not enter a relationship with nothing to bring to the table. You should enter a relationship with some accomplishments of your own. In the wait, not only is God working on you and your heart, He is working on your future spouse’s heart. Maybe you are ready. Maybe you have allowed God to work on you and touch the broken areas of your heart. However, your future spouse may not be. God wants to bring two wholes together to further enhance His Kingdom. Waiting it out shows God that you are willing to wait for the best because He knows what you deserve.
Lie: Everyone is called to marriage.
Truth: I used to think that when I would watch shows and movies, and read books. There is this “happily ever after” that is instilled into us since a child as we’ve watched those Disney princess movies like Cinderella, Beauty and the Beast, and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. As teenagers watching The Cheetah Girls, High School Musical, Camp Rock, and The Lizzie McGuire Movie. In every movie, there has always been a love interest. That is all you grow up to know. When you become of age, you believe that it will happen for you. That you won’t ever be single. That you will be pursued or you will have someone to pursue. I have realized that the more I do for me and the more I stay connected to God, I truly do believe that marriage is not for everyone.
I see how much God is sustaining me during my single season. I see how He comforts me during my lonely and dark moments. I see how He comes to my rescue every single time I cry out to Him especially when I am struggling in my walk of purity. When I have no one else to talk too, when it’s just me, God whispers, “Talk to Me“. He is such a good friend. The way that God has been and still is using me in my single season to accomplish my own dreams while reaching so many by sharing my testimony amazes me at times.
Being single does not mean you are any less than a married person. You are of equal value. Yes there will be some things that you will not be able to experience if you were married like sexual intimacy but in those weak moments, God always fulfills and sustains. If God has called you to a life of singleness, try not to look at it as a bad thing. I see it as God wanting to use you mightily and take you places that you would have never imagined both in the spiritual sense and in the physical sense than if you were married, If you are not happy in your single season, that means that you have not unlocked the resources of Heaven. God called you to singleness for a reason. Seek Him to find the answer and get ready because when He does, I believe that it will blow your mind!
Lie: The reason why I’m not able to find the right one for me is because there is something wrong with me.
Truth: There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. I beg you to let that go out of your head. That is a huge lie from the pit of hell. That’s what the enemy wants you to believe so that you can continue to beat yourself up over it. God could easily make it happen with a snap of His fingers. You are beautiful. You are attractive. You are handsome. Most importantly, you are enough. Maybe you haven’t found the One because you are doing God’s job. You are searching rather than being still. Or maybe, God knows that this is becoming an idol for you where you crave that relationship more than Him so He withholds until you learn to lay it down to rest. If your sole focus is on finding a partner, then do not be surprised if it’s not happening. God loves you too much to give you something prematurely. God does not want you to worship a relationship. He wants you to worship Him!
Lie: I need to know exactly what I am doing and how to please my partner in the bedroom on day one.
Truth: Nope! No no no. You do not need to know exactly what you are doing on day one when it comes to physical and sexual intimacy. I have talked about this numerous times. You do not need to test drive the car. 1 Timothy 4:4 states that everything God created is good and because He created sex, it will be good. If your spouse truly loves you and God is the center and foundation of the relationship, then it should not matter your level of inexperience. What will make the intimacy that much more sweet is when both parties are able to learn from one another and demonstrate patience and trust. Let’s move away from society view on sex and adopt God’s view!
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