Truth To Relationship Lies Part IV
Lie: I am not making myself available enough to “be found”.
Truth: I have heard this all too often. “You need to go out more” is a phrase that never gets old. Trust when I say that if you were meant to be found by now, it would have happened already regardless of if you are a social butterfly and like social events, or you are an introvert and homebody kind of person. If you are the latter, God could make it happen where something breaks and/or needs fixing in your home and you need to call maintenance, and the maintenance person is it. You realize you need a few grocery or toiletry items so you run to the supermarket and notice somebody or somebody notices you. You do not need to put yourself out there to be found. Be you. Do you. As long as you love you, do for you, and you are not living in total isolation, you’re good. Trust God enough to know that He will make it happen when the time is right.
Lie: You are supposed to be married by your mid-20’s.
Truth: Many cultures are like that where young marriages are very common so there is some truth to that. However, if it hasn’t happened for you yet, do not beat yourself up over it. Find ways to enjoy your singleness! It can become discouraging the older you get but always remember that God did not call everyone to marriage. Whether your singleness is only for a season or a lifetime, enjoy it. There are so many blessings and opportunities waiting for you if you just make the decision to live for each day.
Lie: If you did not have an example of what a healthy marriage looks like growing up, chances are, you won’t have a successful marriage.
Truth: That’s what the enemy wants you to believe. He wants you to look around and dwell on the fact that no one in your family line has had a healthy, successful marriage. He wants you to adopt that dysfunction and generational curse so that you too can raise your family in a broken home. That is why it is so important to know God and have Him at the foundation of your life because when you do, God will expose you to healthy marriages. He will bring married folks into your life who have been through hell and back within their marriage, and were able to withstand the storm. Do not worry if you didn’t have that example of marriage growing up. Your job is to focus on you in this season and how you can have a healthy heart. Your heart develops by staying connected to God. How you do your relationship with God is a pretty good indicator of how you will do relationship with your future spouse. Are you making time for God? Does your heart reflect Christ-like tendencies? When something is bothering you, do you shut down and leave God out of it or do you go to Him and communicate what’s bothering you?
Lie: Healthy relationships do not last.
Truth: They do if both parties are willing to work at it. Think of your friendships. Were there any that lasted? Were there any that dissolved? Think about what caused the friendship to last? Was it because there was communication? Loyalty? Respect? Boundaries? Trust? Were both parties putting equal effort in to make the friendship last whether it was taking turns visiting each other, planning phone calls, showing up for each other when needed, etc.? What about the relationships that did not last? Was it because one person always seemed to put in more effort than the other to try to sustain the relationship? Was unforgiveness a strong quality in one person? Was one person always taking advantage of the other and the other got fed up? If you can reflect and understand what made some of your friendships last despite shortcomings and disagreements, and what caused some friendships to end for whatever reason, then you are more than equipped to be in a healthy relationship that will last.
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