Truths To Relationship Lies Part I
In a previous blog post, I wrote about some relationship lies that I had to unlearn. Navigating dating and relationships are not easy but approaching it with the right mindset can make all the difference. With every lie comes a truth, and today, I want to discuss the truths to some of these lies.
Lie: It is unlikely that someone would want to date or marry a virgin.
Truth: I believe that if the person that you are in a relationship with is from God and that person has their own personal relationship with God, then your decision to remain a virgin until marriage will be seen as something beautiful and admirable. If the person you are with makes you feel ashamed and embarrassed about being a virgin or is pressuring you to engage in sexual acts, then they are not for you. If they cannot honor and respect you now in the wait, they will never do so later on. Personally, if I am talking to a guy and I see that they are interested in me, I let them know right away what I’m about. I don’t play games nor do I try to play with fire hoping to not get burned. I’ve met one guy who was respectful enough to fall back completely because he was honest enough to say that he could not handle waiting it out especially due to the fact that he was attracted to me, and another guy who wanted to challenge my decision. That is why I say the no sex policy is the best because it allows you to see people for who they really are before you lay with them. For someone to challenge your decision says alot about who they are and their lack of respect for you. The sexual attraction was there indeed with the latter guy [as well as with the former guy] but for him to continuously try to turn me away from my purity walk was a complete turn off. You don’t ever want to be physically, spiritually, emotionally, or mentally yoked with someone like that. There are people out there who will protect your purity. I believe it for myself and I believe it for you. God will honor you for honoring Him.
Lie: It’s only women who are virgins and are waiting it out until marriage.
Truth: There may be more women than men who are virgins probably because more women report it than men. However, I have watched many YouTube videos and have read the comments on my TikTok videos and believe it or not, there are men who are virgins and are willing to wait it out. Not because they are scared of having sex or because they haven’t found the right one. It’s because they are choosing to follow God’s leading. Do I personally know of any guys who are virgins? Sadly, no. Not one. However, if you are a guy who is a virgin and you are reading this, just know that it is an attractive quality because it demonstrates self-control, commitment, integrity, obedience, and faithfulness. Your manhood is not determined by how many sex partners you had. How you live your single life will be reflective in your married life.
Lie: My standards are too high and that is why I never met someone who could meet them.
Truth: There is nothing wrong with having standards as long as your standards are realistic but most importantly, line up with the Word of God. When you have standards, it sets you apart from the rest. It is good to know who you are, and what you will and will not tolerate. If you don’t know who you are, someone else will define you and you do not want that. It’s always good to talk about what you want when it comes to dating and being in a relationship with a trusted, godly and same sex friend who will be honest, open, and transparent with you. The reason being is so that it can open your eyes and allow you to see things from another perspective. If you have yet to meet someone that can rise up to your standards, then it may be because it is not time. Timing is EVERYTHING to God. The right thing at the wrong time ultimately ends up being the wrong thing. Keep doing you and one day, God will bless you with someone who will not only rise up to meet you where you are but will far exceed all that you could have thought or imagined.
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