Truths To Relationship Lies Part II

God will always reveal His truth to every lie of the enemy. The enemy wants you operating in brokenness when God wants you to operate from a place of wholeness. His truth will give you a sense of peace and provision as you navigate dating and relationships. Today’s post continues on with each lie combated with truth.

Lie: The type of man that I want does not exist so it is best to just settle.

Truth: So there are 2 parts to this lie. Number 1, it is true that the type of man that I want does not exist. That is very true. God does not design our spouses based on our wants but rather our needs. Our wants are based on what we see whereas our needs are based on what God sees. We look at the outer appearance but God looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). The areas that we are weak in are the very areas that I believe our spouses will be stronger in which will help to balance the relationship. Number 2, don’t ever settle! The person that God has for you will rise up to meet your standards. If you feel like you have to downplay or lower your standards for that person, chances are, he or she is not the one for you. The one for you will not be intimidated by you or your successes. I believe that the person God has for you will actually be drawn to the fact that you refuse to settle and that you have so much going for yourself by yourself.

Lie: You need to date around in order to find the one.

Truth: Many times, people date based off of their wants rather than their needs. When you date around, you are looking to satisfy your earthly and fleshly needs. When you date around, you are giving pieces of yourself away little by little, any by the time marriage happens, what would you have left to give your husband or your wife? If you want a long lasting, healthy, and purposeful marriage, then the best advice I can give you is to leave this area of your life in God’s hands so that when that time comes, you can give your spouse all of you knowing that no one else got not even an inch of you. With God involved, you won’t have to date around and that is the beauty of it. Let Him bring you the one. Don’t awaken love before its time (Song of Solomon 8:4). Be patient. God does not need your help when it comes to this. Rather than look for the right one, work on being the right one. Yes, it is difficult to sit back, not touch it, and wait especially when we live in a culture that has the mentality of, “We want it and we want it now!” However, just because we live in this culture does not mean that we must operate as the culture does. Culture says, “We must see it to believe it” but God says, “Believe me. Trust Me. And you will see it.” His promise to you is that He will supply every one of your needs, not wants, according to His riches in glory (Philippians 4:19).  When you seek Him first by inviting Him into this area of your life, everything else will be added unto you (Matthew 6:33). That means a relationship will be added into your life, if that is God’s will for your life, when you put Him first. So instead of dating around, ask God to show you what you need to do in this season of your life. Find ways to maximize and enjoy your season of singleness.

Lie: Men after God’s own heart doesn’t exist.

Truth: Besides seeing it with my pastor and dad, I have yet to really come across any other good guys out there with a heart sold out for God. I have yet to see Christ reflected in a guy’s life and heart. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that good men don’t exist. I do believe that they do. I know that they do. I just have to continue to keep my faith up trusting God that one day He will show me. For years, because I’ve seen the hurt that some family members and friends have experienced due to relationships, I’ve always felt as if there were no good men. Innocent women who were not perfect but were willing to try and make the relationship work got hurt in the end. I know for a fact that it is also true for innocent men who got hurt by women that they loved and cared about. My focus is not on if there are good guys out there anymore. That’s not for me or for you to worry about. My focus now is on making sure my heart, my motives, my beliefs, and my values are right and line up with the Word of God. My focus is on making sure Christ is reflected in my life. Whether good men exist or not has nothing to do with me because in the end, everyone has to answer to God. All i want to hear when it’s all said and done is, “Well done my good and faithful servant.” Don’t worry about who’s out there or what’s out there. Focus on you. Make sure your heart is after God before measuring someone else’s.

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