When You Know Who You Are

As I continue to grow in my relationship with God, the way that I see myself and how I carry myself has evolved. Although I struggle with my own insecurities from time to time, I am no longer that girl that sits in it. I acknowledge the thoughts, explore within myself why I feel that way, and then kill it with what God says about me, for me, and over me. My relationship with God has taught me to never settle and to keep my standards. If I am honest with you, I can tell you that I have yet to meet a guy that is worth me coming out of my singleness. Don’t get me wrong now. I desire to be in a relationship. I desire marriage and physical intimacy however, I know full well not to mistake my desire for desperation. I love me too much to give in to any guy that pays me attention because of my own temporary feelings of loneliness or discouragement. My singleness has ups and downs. I experience a range of emotions from happiness to sadness. I go through things. Yet, I still remain in it because there is peace. I rather go to bed each night knowing that I am honoring God than honoring the devil. 

The strength and the courage that I have as an adult today to say no to the things that go against my standards when it comes to a partner is all God. I give Him the credit because He has taught me what it is like to be a child of the Most High and carry myself as such. Within this past year alone thus far to date, one guy has come across my path in where there was some interest and/or attraction on both ends in one way or another, and he wanted to pursue if I gave him the chance. However, mutual interest and attraction is not enough for me to open up myself to someone. I look at character. I take note of how they carry themselves. I see if their words match their action. I want to know what they have currently going for themselves and what they want out of life. Are they a God-follower or self-follower? Do they believe in Christ or the universe? Can they carry a conversation or is it me doing all of the leg work? Is their thought process logical and sound? Did they settle in life just to say they have something or are they actively pursuing their visions, dreams, and goals? Are they waiting for marriage or are they entertaining their flesh every time it’s on fire? For some, my standards are considered too high but to God, it’s considered, “having integrity”, and integrity is something that is lacking in this generation today. 

I know that God will not fail me in this area. I know that 29 is knocking on my door and I am ready for it. Turning 28 was extremely hard for me because looking back, I was focusing too much on my relationship status and how I was another year older with no prospect in sight. However, after experiencing some things this year, I am grateful that God is continuing to keep me in hiding. People tell me to ask a friend if they know someone or to try going more to events and such to meet guys or to move to another state because I won’t find anyone where I am currently living but can I tell you that I am so good on that? Being content in life, doing the things that you love [for me, that’s being in my career as a school psychologist, hanging out with friends and family throughout the week, dancing, owning my own business, and being in ministry], and pursuing your goals is so much more valuable and important than trying to find a man. I enjoy being a woman of substance and a woman of many talents. I love the fact that I am walking confidently in my purpose and calling. Not alot of people can say that. 

I don’t care to date around at this age or “get to know” guy after guy. Not my cup of tea. You may wholeheartedly disagree and have some things to say about my stance and I am okay with that because again, I know full well who I am in God. As I continue to honor God in this area of my life, He will honor me in due season. He will show me if this guy is the one for me as I lean on Him and surrender my singleness to Him daily. I honestly believe that the people who date around are the ones who put their trust in themselves rather than in the One who knows every detail of their lives. No matter how hard it gets, I will continue running to God because it is only He that can give me what no one else and nothing else can provide.

I encourage you today to wait on God and not give in to the pressures of this world. Find God and yourself. Love God and yourself. There is too much greatness in store for you to give up your singleness because of your fleeting emotions and naysayers. 

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