I Want Sex and I Want It Now!

This is a judgement free zone so can I be honest with you? Like really really honest? One of the struggles of being an unmarried person is that whenever you become horny and desire sex, you cannot satisfy the flesh. Why? Because sex outside of the container “marriage” is a sin. What are you supposed to do when you become horny and desire sex? I have learned that the answer is to go to God. I know that many of you do not want that kind of answer when you are completely turned on but if I’m honest, God is the only one that can help you in this situation if you truly want to remain pure and wait it out until marriage.

It is frustrating going to God because what I need is a physical solution, not a conversation with Him. You always hear about taking cold showers, exercising, finding a trusted friend to talk too, changing the channel on what you are watching, changing the radio station, and so on but many times, none of it works! Nothing. Many times, you don’t even want to get out of bed if you are lying there thinking about sex. However, the only thing that you and I can do if we are choosing the path of purity is by being completely honest and explicit with God.

I tell God everything. I have too if I want to remain focused. I let Him know how I am feeling (e.g. horny), what I want to do (e.g. have sex), how I want to do it (e.g., text, call, or slide into a guy’s DM), and when I want it to happen (e.g. now!). There have been moments when I cried because the desire to have sex was so strong and all I wanted was release but I never entertained it. I never ask God to take the desire away (e.g. because I want the desire to have sex in my marriage). I just ask God to help me. God says we have not because we ask not (James 4:2-3). So ask Him! It takes A LOT of self-control to wait it out and I can tell you that it is a fight everyday not to please my flesh for temporary satisfaction. But because I rely on God to help me wait it out, He always comes through. Not in the way that I want it but in the way that will protect my purity.

Let me be the first to encourage you that there is nothing wrong with you if you have many moments like I do. It is completely normal. What makes all the difference is what you do when you are horny. A lot of people give in to their flesh for the temporary satisfaction only to be left with long term emotional, physical, and/or mental consequences. I know of a close family friend of mines who would do anything to have her virginity back. She would always tell me that it is not worth it. She pushes me to wait it out. So I am pushing you to wait it out. Do not give in to your flesh. Moments when you are feeling so weak and highly tempted, and you feel like you honestly need a friend, and going to God is the very last thing you want to do if you’re honest, reach out. We are in this together!

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