No Sex Is The Best

Can I tell you how happy I am to be a virgin? Now, don’t get me wrong. I spent alot of my younger adult years not valuing such a special gift because of how I felt and what I saw. Those who went to church were having sex and saw nothing wrong with it. Friends whom I made a pact with to wait it out till marriage gave in. In television shows and movies, all I saw were people having sex as long as they were either physically attracted to each other, in love, or just needed their sexual appetite fed regardless of how they felt towards the person who they chose to sleep with. Books that I wanted to read for my own leisure just had to include sex scenes when it could have done without.

I am fully human and fully flesh. I have sexual desires. I have been attracted to the very few guys whom I have come into contact with in the past. Circumstances arose where sex could have happened if I chose that route however I never gave in. Not even to be kissed. Even in those moments where I was turned on, I couldn’t bring myself to go there not because I was afraid of sex but because I knew in the moment that temporary satisfaction wasn’t worth the long term consequences. I knew that me doing anything sexually in my own will was pleasing to the enemy but not pleasing to God. As much as I have had thoughts of having sex, I couldn’t bring my physical body to that point with any guy because I knew that it would leave me feeling so devastated and broken. This is why it is so important to know you and your limitations. Why it is so important to spend time with yourself because you would know your vulnerabilities and weaknesses. You would be able to see what it is that you truly want and don’t want. As awesome as people say sex is, because I never had it, I was always okay walking away from it.

I encourage you to hold on to your purity at all costs until marriage. Even if you are not a virgin, I strongly encourage you to practice celibacy. With sex off the table, it allows you to get to know you and see just how strong the relationship is. Sex off the table also allows you to see the person for who they really are. I look back and can see that those guys whom I have come into contact with weren’t worth me giving away such a precious gift. Within weeks of meeting these guys, God was able to show me so clearly who the guys were without them even having to say much. For example, I was able to see selfish motives with one guy in particular who cared nothing about guarding and protecting my purity. If I would have gave in and allowed myself to have sex with these guys, the amount of damage and destruction I would have caused myself would have been unbearable. The level of regret would have been huge. The amount of clean up God would have had to do would be heartbreaking for me because I put myself there. It would have also given so much room for the enemy to taunt me and constantly remind me of my mistake. I would have been so blinded by who these guys really were because my flesh would have been in total control especially if the sex was good. I would have ignored those little signs to walk away and the unsettlement in my spirit just so I can be touched again and feel like I was worth it to someone who really saw no worth in me.

I am happy that I am a virgin because it allows my mind and my heart to be in control when I encounter guys but most importantly, it allows God to be in control. If you want a long lasting, healthy relationship, take sex off the table. You do not need to test drive anything if God is all the way involved and at the foundation. The person who decides to honor your choice in waiting until marriage [and is also willing to wait it out] is someone who is worth your time and energy. I do believe that sex is as great as they say but your self value is worth more. I know that there is more to a relationship than sex so if your relationship cannot withstand the “No Sex” policy until marriage, that alone says a lot. If the person you are seeing cannot handle the “No Sex” policy until marriage, please do yourself and your future generation a favor and walk away.

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