You Gotta Get Up!
I know what it is like to feel depressed where you can’t get up. When it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and heaviness surrounds you. Sadness seems to overtake you, and the joy and the peace of mind that you once had vanishes. Hopelessness sets in. You have no strength, no desire, no motivation to do a thing. You want to reach out to someone to talk too but decide against it because you feel as if he/she won’t understand. They can’t help you with what you are going through. No one can. The easiest thing for you to do is cry and remain in bed all day. To lay there in the silence. In your own thoughts. I know that feeling all too well.
The Friday before the launch of my blog, I woke up later than usual, with such a heaviness that I couldn’t shake. I knew what it was. Depression. How did I know? Because of the deep sadness that I felt in my spirit. A sadness that would come and go for so many years. I didn’t want to get up. I didn’t want to face my reality. That I was 25 and getting older. That I never had any experience with dating or being in a relationship. That I was still single. Still a virgin. Still childless. That my family was in desperate need of a miracle. That I was in a state by myself, with no one to really talk too or hang out with. That money was tight but the bills wouldn’t stop. That many of my friends whom I was really close with are all girlfriends, wives and mothers now, leaving minimal room for me. Wondering if I picked the right career. To counsel children when I needed help myself. Wondering if it was a good idea to move away from my family even though I knew that this is where God needed me for this particular season of my life. So many thoughts flooded my mind. I wanted to stay down but I couldn’t. I had to get up. I had to fulfill my work duties. It was a long Friday but I made it. Although there were moments when tears rolled down my face, I made it. I still felt heavy in my spirit but I made it.
It was hard to get up the next day because I was tired. Emotionally. Mentally. Spiritually. Physically. I was overwhelmed. I was frustrated. I was discouraged. With the little strength that was left inside of me, I sat up on my bed and once I did, tears started to roll down my face. Again. With tears in my eyes, I quietly said, “God.” I didn’t have the strength to pray or to even talk, but I needed help. I was drowning in my own thoughts. The words that came out of my mouth next was a confession. I told God that I was tired and that what I was dealing with was unbearable. I told Him that I wanted out. That I was done, and that nothing made sense in my life. It wasn’t fair that I did everything right (I went to school, got my education, stayed on the straight and narrow path) and still, those very things that I deeply desire since I was 21, like marriage and children, seemed so far out of reach.
Do you know what happened once I confessed that heaviness to God? A shift happened. An unexplainable shift deep within my spirit. Something in me told me to get up. To just get up. Against my own will to stay down, I relied on Gods strength to get up. I knew that His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses (2 Corinthians 12:9), and because I knew that, I managed to get up, but this time around, with peace settling in.
I want to encourage you to not let depression have its way with you, and for you to not give in to the enemy’s tactics. God has so much in store for you but you have to make up in your mind to get up. I did, and because I did, such a peace came over me. That heaviness and sadness that I felt lifted off. No, my circumstances did not change. But my thought process did. What I realized was that I am on this Earth for a reason. I realized that God has my family and I in the palm of His hands, and that He will keep us. In due season, He will release whatever blessings He has for my family and I, and give me the desires of my heart but until then, to keep my mind on Him because He is peace (Isaiah 26:3).
A little knowledge to note is that depression is a spirit. Just like all of the things that you and I have struggled with (anxiety, rejection, insecurities, loneliness, etc.). Depression is a spirit that comes from the devil, the enemy, the adversary. The devil likes to play with your thought process so that you can’t have peace inwardly. He is after your mind. He wants to destroy your mind with negative, ungodly, hopeless thoughts. The devil doesn’t fully care about your house, your car, your money, your job, etc. What the devil cares about is how he can steal your peace, your joy, and your happiness, and will use material things like your car or your finances to get to you. His ultimate mission is for you to give up on life completely. For you to commit suicide. For you to compare yourself and your life to someone else’s. For you to walk around feeling like you are worth nothing and that you have no reason to keep going. For you to focus on all that is going wrong in your life, and forget how blessed you are. I am here to tell you: do not give him that power. Get up. With whatever is left inside of you, get up. Rely on God’s strength to help you get up. Rely on His strength to help you release whatever is weighing on your mind so heavily and exchange it for His peace. You have done all that you could have to get to this point today so your job right now is just to be still, and allow your Heavenly Father to work it all out for your good (Romans 8:28). He’s got you. He loves you too much to leave you alone and let you fall.
I am not a doctor. I am not licensed to practice anything medically. Depression is real and sometimes it can affect your everyday life. If you struggle with clinical depression, and it has affected your everyday life drastically, I was taught in school to recommend seeking medical help. However, if you know like I know that God is bigger than anything that the devil tries to place on us, get up and fight! Keep going. It will get better.
Be encouraged. God is keeping you. He is handling whatever is causing your spirit to feel heavy. Your job is to get up and keep your focus on Him. He will keep you in perfect peace if you do so. Believe that because it is working for me, and it will for you. Every time my mind starts to go there, and I begin to think about my situation, I am able to stop and retrain my thought process with God’s help so that I can rest in Him. He will help you if you ask Him too.
I am praying for you! I am here for you and so is God. If you need someone to talk too, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me. I need you and so does God!
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