Letter To The Single Gal or Guy

Dear single friend,

I know firsthand that being single is not easy. When you look for singleness sermons and ask others about singleness to help encourage you, they tell you all the good things. These are things you’ve probably heard: Enjoy your singlehood because you don’t have to answer to anyone. You get to spend time with your friends. You get to travel. Go on missionary trips. Be of help to others. You get to pursue your dreams whether it is to go to college or start your own business. You get to learn about you. You get to spend time with God with no interruptions…. The list is endless. It is true and it is nice to hear all those things but it doesn’t override what you see. I know you see that friend getting engaged, pregnant, married, moving into his/her first home, posting pics with his/her significant other, and you’re wondering, “What about me“? I know you watch them and it seems as if they are so happy, living their best life, and you’re here feeling empty and broken. I know that being on social media can be a challenge for you at times because jealousy and comparison tend to sneak up. You tend to see the beauty all around you and wonder why your life is different. Why you are all alone. I know what it’s like to have to go to work, church, family gatherings, the park, on vacation, at restaurants, etc. and you see those in your age group in a relationship, married, and/or with children. Friend, I know. As hard as it is, as much as you’re struggling, you have to make a decision to shift your perspective.

Your singleness is a gift. Your singleness is just as important and valuable as being married. You will never be able see that unless you ask God to reveal it to you. God’s desire for you in this season of singleness is to have so much joy and peace in being single that other people would get jealous of you because of what God is doing in, through, and for you.

Therefore, I personally want to tell you to hold on. Keep walking. Keep going. You will get discouraged. Jealousy, loneliness, insecurities, anxiety, depression, horny nights, and even lust will come. I won’t lie to you on that. You will want to give up. You will get teased, laughed at, ostracized, looked at weird, seen as boring and oh so conservative, but don’t let that stop you. Instead of watching what everyone else is doing and feeling sorry for yourself, start making other people jealous of you by living for you and pursuing what you love!

In this season of singleness, let God become your best friend. When you begin to draw closer to God and get into His Word, powerful things start to happen:

1. God will show you and tell you who you really are so that when those negative words and feelings come, it won’t overtake you because you will know who you are and whose you are. The enemy is going to attack you so hard in this season. He would do anything in his power to make you fall, and I can attest to that. He will tempt you but with every temptation, God will give you a way out as He did for me.
2. When you get in the Word of God and you begin to seek God, you will be able to discern if that person you are talking to, even if it’s just a “friend”, is for you or not quickly. God doesn’t want you to live in regret. He doesn’t want you to hook up with the wrong person who is not meant to be a part of your destiny, your future.
3. That void of emptiness will begin to fill and overflow. God created each one of us with a void and many look to man, drugs, alcohol, sex, or even violence to fill it. When you allow God to fill it, He will make you truly happy and satisfied.

In this season, Ask God to comfort you and fill you up. He will. I know because I’ve asked. You have not because you ask not (James 4:2-3). So ask! When you are full in God, you won’t allow counterfeits in your space. You won’t give it any attention. You would actually prefer to be single than to have counterfeits in your presence.

You are not alone friend. I have went through all that you are going through and I have made it to the other side. And if God brought me through, He will definitely bring you through too. Hold on. It will be worth it. I look back and thank God for not giving me what I wanted and gave me what I needed instead. He covered me. He protected me. He loved me when I didn’t love myself. He showed me the truth, and that set me free. Don’t waste this season. You will be thankful that during this season of singleness, you were productive and fruitful as God worked on your heart and opened so many doors of opportunity.

Love Ali xoxo

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