Never Had A Boyfriend? Never Dated?

So what’s my story? How come I never had a boyfriend? How come I never been on a date? I’ve been told that I am too picky, too uptight, that God has probably brought Him already and I rejected him, that I’m letting too many guys down, etc. If I was to listen to what everyone had said, I would have been in wrong relationships, hurting these guys, getting hurt, but most importantly, walking out of my destiny. Don’t get me wrong. I never had a bunch of guys knocking down my front door but I did have guys approach. Here’s the story:

1. In my late teens, early 20s, I did not have any guy pursue me. Not one. Not during my college years or on the job. It could have been because God knew how desperately I wanted a boyfriend and to protect me from getting hurt, He kept me hidden. I was so vulnerable those years that I would have said yes to just about anyone just so that I can “proudly” state that I was in a relationship.
2. Guys didn’t really start approaching until the last two years. The number one reason why I never said yes to any of the guys that approached was because I knew that they wanted sex. I could easily tell through body language and conversations. I don’t string guys along. I let them know the real deal. Who I am and what I am about. I have had one guy tell me when he was in a relationship that he would not mess with a virgin because he likes sex, which is understandable, but then when he was out of that relationship and felt like he had a chance with me, he told me that he would be willing to wait until marriage for me to have sex. The reason why he would never stand a chance with me is number one, learning about his past relationships, he’s had sex in all of them. Two, his reason for waiting is based on me, not based on wanting to honor God. If whatever decision you make in life is for mankind and not God, then a relationship will never last because you are going to be constantly living to please the person, and that gets tiring after a while.
3. There has been so much controversy around guys and girls being friends. The reason why I do not talk to any guys, even as a single person, is because I know that feelings eventually get involved, and the last thing you want to do is start a romantic relationship with someone you know you’re not supposed to be with but because feelings are present, you go ahead in it. I know me. I know that one of my weaknesses is that I catch feelings quickly. My mind is already at the altar and that is dangerous! Unless God has explicitly told me that He is the one, a friendship will not happen because I personally cannot handle it without it going further. This is me protecting me. Everyone is different and that is okay. Many can handle the guy and girl friendship with no feelings involved and kudos to them. I just refuse to give even a small bit of me to someone who is not aligned to my destiny.
4. To be honest, guys that have female friends is a no for me. This has nothing to do with insecurities and I am so tired of people saying that. When I talk to those in successful, healthy marriages that have lasted for years, I don’t ever hear the husband saying that he has female friends or the wife saying she has male friends. Their friendships are with same sex people or with other married folks. The danger that comes with a boyfriend having a female friend is one that I am not willing to explore. Many times, the reason why they end up as friends is because they’ve tried and it didn’t work out, or one has feelings for the other but it was never clearly communicated. I’m good on that. 
5. Guys know that God has to be number one in their lives in order to stand a chance with me, and they say that He is. They say that they pray, attend church, and have that relationship with Him. I don’t care about all of that. What I care about is if your life reflects Christ. Can someone watch your life and automatically see God? Are you living daily to please God and deny your flesh even when it hurts? How is your faith? Your belief? Do you hold on even when everything around you is telling you to give up? I haven’t met a guy like that and I refuse to settle because I am getting older or struggle with desiring a companion at times.

When you know your worth and what you bring to the table, you are okay eating alone. I am okay being single. I have peace in that. God told me at 21 years old that dating and being in multiple relationships will not be for me. He will reveal the person to me so until then, to rest in Him and wait on Him. That was God’s Word to me and I am going to continue holding on to it even if I am 30 and still single.

If you have never dated or been in a relationship, don’t give in because of the pressures of society. There are so many reasons why God isn’t allowing it to happen. Seek Him and He will show you!

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